Saving My Life
by Angst Is My Middle Name
Summary: Dean Winchester is feeling unworthy as usual... so Castiel makes all those feelings go away, if only for a little while... no slash.


_**Just a little songfic I wrote ages ago around S4... Set to "Red Sam" by Flyleaf. Enjoy!**_

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_Here I stand_

_Empty hands_

_Wishing my wrists were bleeding_

_To stop the pain from the beatings_

_There you stood_

_Holding me_

_Waiting for me to notice you_

Dean Winchester was broken inside. He hated the fact that he was tearing apart these poor souls. He didn't care that they were sinners and had essentially asked for this. To cause pain to people who had done him no harm was utterly against his nature. He dropped his tool on the ground, his throat and eyes burning. His hands balled into tight fists at his side. He half-wished he would be placed back on the rack, but he feared the pain that would inevitably follow. That did not stop him from apologizing to every soul before laying into them, silently wishing he could take away some of their pain, bleed with them. He saw Alistair in front him, angry and vaguely fearful. Dean became aware of a hand on his shoulder and turned.

_But who are you?_

_You are the truth_

_Outscreaming these lies_

_You are the truth_

_Saving my life_

The person who was holding him was the most beautiful he'd ever seen, so much so that it was indescribable save for being male and having vivid blue eyes. These were all he could recall later when he 'met' Castiel. He barely listened as the angel explained that Dean was important and had been saved for a reason. He could only look into those eyes and see the truth: that he was loved, special, _forgiven_.

_The warmth of your embrace_

_Melts my frostbitten spirit_

_You speak the truth and I hear it_

_The words are_

_I love you_

_And I have to believe in you_

Dean sat alone in the motel room he was sharing with Sam because Sam was off doing god-knows-what. Sleep was not coming easily, and when it did, it ended quickly with nightmares of Hell. He lay in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, until Castiel showed up. Dean shouted at him for several minutes, cursing him for no reason at all. Finally, the angelic being enveloped him in his arms before he could do anything. The human's muscles tensed, and he tried everything to wriggle out of his arms. Castiel was too strong, though. He whispered, "Dean, believe me. You deserve to be saved. Alive. Forgiven. You _are_ loved," in his ear. Dean began to shiver with silent sobs. Castiel murmured, "_I_ love you," and Dean broke because he finally knew the words were true.

_But who are you?_

_You are the truth_

_Outscreaming these lies_

_You are the truth_

_Saving my life_

Once more, Dean felt that he'd been presented with something he didn't deserve. However, when he looked into Castiel's perfect blue eyes and simply knew that he was worthy of all he'd been given. No matter what he told himself about how terrible a person he was, he could now see they were lies. He could now see that Castiel had the truth, the most beautiful and perfect truth there was.

_My hands are open_

_And you are filling them_

_Hands in the air_

_In the air_

_In the air_

_In the air_

Dean stood quietly with Sam at the back of the old church. Few people were there, but that was okay. Sam decided to wait outside. Dean merely stood at the back, hands hanging limply at his sides. Suddenly, a warmth filled them: calming, familiar. His eyes fluttered shut. A soothing voice entered his ears. He barely recognized it as Castiel's. He knew the angel was with him. His hands were slowly raised into the air.

_And I worship_

Dean felt that he was loved, saved, wanted, needed… worthy. He was okay.

_And I worship_

Dean knew these things, and he was happy.

_And I worship_

Dean believed these things, and he was joyful.

Outside, he found his holy tax accountant. Sam was nowhere to be found. Dean approached the angel.

"Thanks, Cas."

Dean wrapped his arms around the angel. A face was pressed to his shoulder. Dean held the angel as though his life depended on it.

"Thank you so much."

_You are the truth_

_Outscreaming these lies_

_You are the truth_

_Saving My Life_

_

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**Reviews are like joy and sunshine and hugs =)**_


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